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  1. #1

    Read Funny SMS Text Messages

    Funny SMS Text Messages

    *********************************

    Isang gabi habang nanonood ako
    tumabi sakin ang lola ko..

    ang haba ng buhok itim na itim ng
    damit parang malungkot at may
    hawak na kutsilyo

    kinabahan ako..

    nagsalita siya..

    sabi niya..

    "apo, bagay ba sa akin ang EMO?"


    **********************************

    Advice from dentist:

    Treat your BF/GF like a toothbrush

    Dont let anybody use it..

    And change it every month...


    *******************************


    Bakit ganun.. sa kama na lang ba lagi ang role
    ko sa buhay mo.. each time na pagod ka im always
    here para painitin ang malalamig mong gabi..

    Hindi ba ako pedeng idisplay sa mga tao? kahit
    minsan lang?

    - Kumot(nagdradrama gustong maging Kurtina)


    *******************************************


    Lolo:Laro tayo.
    Lola:ano?
    Lolo:Kahit ano wag lang taguan
    Lola:bakit naman?
    Lola: because a girl like you is impossible to find

    lupit ni lolo


    **********************************


    Anak: nay galing ng titser ko.
    Nay: bakit namn?
    Anak: tinuruan kami ng kagandahang asal
    Lola: e d marunong ka ng gumalang at mag-PO at OPO?
    Anak:Natural! tanga ka Ba? hmmp...


    *************************************


    An ambitious NURSE INTERN in a tertiary hospital
    dialled canteen
    and shouted: " get me a cup of coffee quickly!!!"

    The voice from the other line said" "You fool!!!
    youve dialled
    the wrong extension! Do you know who you are talking to?
    im the Chief nurse of this hospital, you idiot!!"

    The intern shouted back " and you know who
    are talking to you bitch?"

    Chief Nurse: No!

    Intern: Thank God!(hung up)


    ***************************************


    Bulag at duling magsusuntukan!!
    Bulag: hayop ka duling!! lumabas ka dyan.. wag kang
    magtago sa dilim!!
    Duling: in your dreams!!! bakit ako lalabas eh
    dalawa kayo!!!


    ******************************************


    Teacher: Lahat ng tanga dito sa klase tumayo

    may isang batang tumayo

    Teacher: bakit tanga ka ba?

    bata: eh sir.. naaawa lang po ako sa inyo kasi
    mayisa lang kayong nakatayo kaya sasamahan ko na lang
    kayo para dalawa tayong tanga..


    ******************************


    Titser: use "anyhow" en "anyone" in a sentence..

    Pacman: hoy Pidro!! baki mo kinain ang "anyhow" na manok
    na "anyone" ko dyan sa mesa para kay Jengkeh


    ************************************************** *


    Maid: mam si junjun nakalulon ng ipis!
    Mam: ha nsaan si junjun
    Maid: tulog po mam. pinainum ko agad ng Baygon!!
    patay na siguro yung ipis


    *********************************************


    i mishu

    - ngongong nakakita ng piso habang naglalakad sa kalye


    ***********************************************


    If climbing the highest mountain on
    earth is the only way for him to be mine..

    then i'd rather go shopping!


    *************************************

    It's reli sad dat in dis world, pipol wud rather
    see 2 men holdin guns, killing each othr..
    Dan to see 2 men holdin hands
    lovin one another,

    **********************************

    "If you don't want to see me smoking..

    Then you should better find a ways to make my lips busy!"

    hehe..


    *************************************


    I was planning to kill the most
    good-looking, & charming boy on earth

    Den i realized shud i kill myslf?

    Wat a big sin to do ds thing!

    *********************************

    wat s similarity between panty & sky?

    sky covers d whole population..

    & Panty Covers d source of population!

    haha..


    ***************************************


    a lady n a bar walks 2 d barman * puts her
    finger in2 barman's mouth.

    Barman: lustly kises & lick each finger.

    Lady says: Tel ur manager der's no toilet paper!


    *****************************************


    wat is "shock?"

    shock is wen a guy is having sex 2 his
    pregnant wife wen suddenly, little hands grab
    his penis and said.."daddy! huyi ka!"


    ************************************


    "You cannot taste me..
    Unless you take of my dress"

    -banana


    ********************************


    chinese says:

    if u want 2 b lucky,

    learn "FUNSOY"
    if u want 2 b rich, play "PUSOY"

    if u want 2 b healthy,

    eat "CHOPSUY"
    if u want 2 b hapi, "TXTMOKOHOY"..


    *************************************


    do you know how your day will become beautiful?

    it is wen you start your day..

    thinking of me first...lolz!


    ***********************************


    why are c0nd0ms transparent?

    So dat d sperms cud at least enjoy d scenery
    of their supposedly promised land..

    poor little creatures!


    ********************************


    tru bravery is to arrive home..

    fully drunk..

    a later night out..

    & mom waiting with a broom in hand
    then u asked, "hey mom, still cleaning?


    ***************************************


    just wanna be an angel..

    flying around u

    riskin all dat i have just
    to kiss u..

    even if it cost my life..

    -lamok


    ********************************


    if u reli luv me, i dare u 2 hug me
    so tyt 2 mek me realize dat 8s true.

    -cactus..


    ****************************************


    i tried my best w8 4 u.

    i've shouted too loud, stil, u didn't even rspond
    2 my call,
    now u want me 2 go back?

    -magtataho ngdadrama


    *************************************


    evrytym i feel dat nobody understands me,

    it helps a lil to think of u..

    cause i know.. nobody

    understand u either..


    **********************************


    dis msg is strictly 4 cute
    & charming person only.. since u
    accidntaly recivd dis msg
    i deeply apologise 4 da disturbanc



    *****************************************


    American guy named Paul challenged a filipino.

    american: use my name 4 tyms n a sentence.

    Pedro: PAUL , b carePAUL, u myt PAUL n da
    swmmng PAUL..ahaha



    *****************************************


    SA BAKERY
    Pulubi: Palimos po ng cake.
    Ale: Aba , sosyal ka ah! Namalimos ka lang, gusto mo pang cake.. eto pandesal!
    Pulubi: Duh! Ate?! Bday ko kaya today?!?


    ******************************************


    ANAK: Tay mag-ingat kayo sa DANKTRAK!.
    TATAY: ano ung danktrak?
    ANAK: Yunn pong trak na 10 ang gulong na karga buhangin?
    TATAY: Tanga inde danktrak un...TEN MILLER!!!


    **************************************


    Honeymoon...
    BRIDE: Kinakabahan ako. Baka di ko makaya.. Parang natatakot ako.
    GROOM- Kaya mo ito. Di ba dati may alaga kang ahas?
    BRIDE- Oo nga, pero takot talaga ako sa UOD!!


    ***************************************


    Nanay: Ang lakas mo kumain pero di ka mautusan. Ang kapal mo!
    Anak: Kapag yung baboy natin malakas kumain, natutuwa ka. Sino ba talaga ang anak mo, ako o ung baboy? Umayos ka nay! Wag ganun!



    ********************************************


    BF : May ibibigay akong gift sa iyo, pero hulaan mo muna!
    GF: Sige, clue naman...
    BF: Kailangan ito ng leeg mo.
    GF: Kwintas?
    BF: Hindi... PANGHILOD! SMILE!!!


    *******************************************


    AMO: inday, paalisin mo nga yung pulubi sa labas ng bahay.
    (nilabas ni Inday)
    INDAY: off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such
    unabashed display of vagrant destitution!
    PULUBI: oh! I'm so ashamed! Such a mansion of social climbing freaks!
    (nakakuha na ng katapat si Inday!)
    NOSEBLEED!!


    ***************************************


    DOC: umubo ka!
    PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
    DOC: ubo pa!
    PEDRO: ho! Ho! Ho!
    DOC: okay.
    PEDRO: ano po ba sakit ko doc?
    DOC: may ubo ka.


    **************************************


    MEKANIKO: sir, hindi ko po naayos preno ng kotse niyo.
    CUSTOMER: ha?! Pano yan?
    MEKANIKO: nilakasan ko na lang po ang inyong busina! Happy trip na lang po!


    *********************************


    Kung nag GAY LANGUAGE sana sila GMA at GARCI eh di walang SCAM!
    GMA: hallow gracia!
    GARCI: uy mother ever! Na chenilyn de kimberlyn ko na po yung mga chuva ek ek.
    GMA: bonggacious! Eh yung mga chenes chenes, carry na ba?
    GARCI: flatshoes! Winnie santos mama, wiz na wori eclavou na ever! Na chorva na!
    GMA: ang tarushki! Maldita ka talaga vruha ka! Eh di windra na naman watashi?!
    GARCI: anufi ate.
    GMA: oshah ba.



    **********************************************


    Divorced father: anak pag-uwi mo bigay mo sa nanay mo itong cheke at sabihin mo 18 yrs old ka na, huling cheke na makukuha niya for child support tapos tignan mo kung ano ang expression ng face niya.
    Anak: mom, sabi ni dad bigay ko daw sayo itong cheke, last support na niya ito sakin kasi 18 na ako. Pagkatapos tignan ko daw expression ng face mo.
    Mom: sa susunod na pagbisita mo sa kanya paki sabi salamat sa suporta kahit di mo siya tatay! Pagkatapos tignan mo expression ng face niya!


    ************************************************** *

    Medyo CORNY pero sana may matuwa, hehe

  2. #2

    Default Re: Funny SMS Text Messages

    Whehe. Luma ma pero pag bnasa ulet kakatuwa..

  3. #3

    Default Re: Funny SMS Text Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by shrwin007 View Post
    Whehe. Luma ma pero pag bnasa ulet kakatuwa..

    Oo nga eh, kakatuwa din nmn sya ulit-ulitin hehe

  4. #4

    Default Re: Funny SMS Text Messages

    nice! muntik na ko mabulunan, kakatawa....
    nabawasan ang stress ko.. hehe

  5. #5

    Default Re: Funny SMS Text Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by ellyville View Post
    nice! muntik na ko mabulunan, kakatawa....
    nabawasan ang stress ko.. hehe
    Good, haha! buti nmn at nkatulong, hehe

  6. #6

    Default Re: Funny SMS Text Messages

    langya!!! hahah ok ka tol..
    tnx!

  7. #7

    Default Re: Funny SMS Text Messages

    TAMA luma pero ok parin naman kahit papano. nice one.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Funny SMS Text Messages

    Quote Originally Posted by boink View Post
    langya!!! hahah ok ka tol..
    tnx!
    not a prob, hehehe, tnx din

  9. #9

    Default Re: Funny SMS Text Messages

    nice post.. tumawa ako thanks

  10. #10

    Default Re: Funny SMS Text Messages

    nalibang ako kahit sandali lang.....

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