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  1. #1

    Thumbsup i love funny things and hope youd like it as well>>>

    Did I read that sign right?
    by Saurabh Sat Jan 08, 2011 4:43 pm



    In an office:

    TOILET OUT OF ORDER...... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW


    In a Laundromat:

    AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT


    In a London department store:

    BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS


    In an office:

    WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN


    In an office:

    AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD


    Outside a secondhand shop:

    WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?


    Notice in health food shop window:

    CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS


    Spotted in a safari park:

    ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR


    Seen during a conference:

    FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR


    Notice in a farmer's field:

    THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.


    On a repair shop door:

    WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>



    .........................................

  2. #2

    Default Re: i love funny things and hope youd like it as well>>>

    Please! make me women
    by Rahul Mon Jan 03, 2011 1:01 pm



    A man was sick and tired of goingto work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

    "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."

    God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

    The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast forhis mate, awakened the kids, Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, rove them to school, came home andpicked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, Then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the checkbook. He cleaned the cat's litter box andbathed the dog. Then it was already 1 P.M.and he hurried to make the beds,do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

    The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, Lord, "I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

    The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months,though. You got pregnant last night."

    >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

    Wag na kasi reklamo....hehehe

  3. #3

    Default Re: i love funny things and hope youd like it as well>>>

    May I know the time please?
    by Rahul Mon Jan 03, 2011 12:57 pm



    Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?

    Old Man: Certainly not.

    Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to loose,if you tell me the time?

    Old Man: Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the time.

    Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?

    Old Man: See, if I tell you the time you will

    definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.

    Young Man: Quite possible.

    Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.

    Young Man: Quite possible.

    Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me.


    Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea.

    After my courteous approach you will try to come again.This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?

    Young Man: Possible

    Old Man: made itThen I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to you &; you will admire my daughter.

    Young Man: Smiles.

    Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter again and again. You will offer her to go out for a movie together and a date with you.

    Young Man: Smiles

    Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her and propose her for marriage.

    Young Man: Smiles

    Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission.

    Young Man: Oh Yes! And smiles

    Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my daughter to a person like you who does not even own a watch.

    -----------------------
    may tama ka tatang>>>>

  4. #4

    Default Re: i love funny things and hope youd like it as well>>>

    Three men were at the FBI Building for a job interview. The first man walked into the office.

    The interviewing FBI agent said, "To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun."

    The man took the gun, hesitated, and said, "Sorry, I can't do it."

    The next interviewee came into the office.

    The agent said, "To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun."

    The man took the gun, walked into the room, then walked back out.

    "Sorry," he said.

    The last man came into the office. This guy really wanted the job. The interviewer said, "To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun."

    The man took the gun and went into the room. The agent heard 6 shots, silence, and then a lot of screaming.

    Shortly, the man came out of the room and said, "Someone loaded the gun with blanks, so I beat her to death with the curtain railing!"

    *********************
    he wants his wife dead///

  5. #5

    Default Re: i love funny things and hope youd like it as well>>>

    Two Trainees working in the same office, one wanted some time off, but knew the boss wouldn't allow him to take leave.

    He decided to act crazy so the boss would tell him to take a few days off. He hung upside down from the ceiling so the other Trainee asks him "What are you doing'?"

    "Ah pretending to be ah light bulb so the boss will think ah crazy and give me time off for a few days".

    Just then de boss walks in. "What the arse you doing?"

    "I am ah light bulb" the trainee says.

    De boss then said, "Man you stress out. You need few days off to recover...go home and come back when you feel better."

    The other Trainee starts walking out the door too...

    The boss asks him "Where the hell you think you're going?"

    The other Trainee replied "I going home....I cant work in the dark.

    ***************************

    Q. What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?

    A. No thanks, I'm stuffed!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. Who sits on babies?

    A. A babysitter.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. What has arms and legs, but no head?

    A. A chair!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. What runs but never walks?

    A. Water!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?

    A. A blackboard!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. What did the light say when it was turned off?

    A. I'm delighted!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. What has a head and a tail but no body?

    A. A coin!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

    A. Stinkerbell!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. What is the richest kind of air?

    A. Millionaire.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. Why did the girl throw the clock out the window?

    A. Because she wanted to see time fly!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. Which is faster, cold or heat?

    A. Heat, you can catch a cold!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. What jam can't be eaten on toast?

    A. A traffic jam!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. Why did the golfer wear two sets of pants?

    A. In case he got a whole in one!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. What two things can't you have for dinner?

    A. Lunch and breakfast!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. Why did the baker stop making doughnuts?

    A. He got fed up with the whole business!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. What's the hottest letter in the alphabet?

    A. 'B', because it makes oil...Boil!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. Why did the pony cough?

    A. He was a little hoarse!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Q. Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance?

    A. He had no body to go with!

  6. #6

    Default Re: i love funny things and hope youd like it as well>>>

    appreciated...salamat!

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